Why is love necessary and what is real love?
Without love life is meaningless, but we just don’t know how to do it. We are made in the image and likeness of God, Who is perfect love, and so we should be capable of loving others and being loved. This meditation examines the virtue of love and how a soul can learn to love – by growing in holiness.
So what is real love? For many years now I have been visiting Jesus in the adoration chapel. To me it is the ultimate ‘school of love‘ that any soul, regardless of its desperate state, will benefit from. Frequent visits to Jesus in adoration will make you turn toward the good, the true, and the beautiful. It will just happen naturally over time. Just by going to see Jesus and kneeling in his presence and experiencing the Lover of all Love, you will soak in a dose of the beautiful and generous grace. He freely gives it. He does this not because you deserve it. He does this because His essence is love itself.
In this meditation on what is real love I want to share what I have learned. I share my experiences along with some knowledge that I have gained from the Church on the virtue of love. I do this because I want to help you feel hope no matter what state you are in right now. I want you to feel loved just from reading this, and I want you to desire the virtue of love for yourself and to go and sit with Jesus in His presence and allow His grace to flood your heart with divine love.
Why is love necessary?
Love makes life meaningful because without love we are truly nothing. When we do not possess the ability to love we are without hope. In the eyes of God, Saint Paul even tells us that we are NOTHING if we are unable to properly love.
Many today think love is an emotional feeling, an act of possessing another soul, and something that has to be reciprocated in order to truly be the right kind of love. But any soul who has loved another human being and has had their heart broken knows that there is a form of love that is very lonely and isolating. Maybe you find yourself here because this is you.
In Christianity we know this kind of love, a love for other without any benefit to self, as a self-sacrificing love. The Church has a special name for this level of love. We call it charity.
The Bible Describes What is Real Love
“Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury. Love does not rejoice over wrong-doing, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Love, as described by St. Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians, the Magisterium of the Church, and in the writings of the saints is not at all like what the world describes. Love is nothing to do with a feeling in the heart even though love causes us to have emotions and also physical sensations.
We are made to be in love. This is why your soul seeks it. If you go into the world seeking a false love that does not come from God, a counterfeit, your soul will be wounded. This is because real love, the highest form of love, can only come from God. It is born of God. The virtue of love comes from our connection to the very being of God.
The definition of love has been falsified by the world. The world wants the soul to believe one receives love through an attachment and it is based on both physical and emotional pleasures. You have feelings when you are around someone. You like how they make you feel so you long to be with them. This person makes you feel good about yourself, therefore the world says you are in love.
The world says that love is fleeting, and that it can betray, and it is not to be trusted. But in reality this is not love at all. You are in relationship with a person. The feelings of ‘being in love’ as the world describes it wane. You no longer feel comfortable with this person. They criticize you. This makes you feel unloved. The world says this love has ended. It’s over.
No. These things are the farthest thing from true love. Love is not a feeling. It is an act of the will. The highest form of love, the only love that matters, is charity. When a soul has the ability to love unconditionally, even in the face of evil, they have charity.
Real Love
Real love has to bear good fruit. Love has to become incarnate through concrete actions. True love is perfect sacrifice. True love has nothing to do with receiving. True love is an emptying of the self. In an act of the will, love pours out and gives of self without expectation of getting anything beneficial in return. This is self-sacrificing love. There is only one source of this kind of perfect love. It comes from being in relationship with God, who is the source of love.
We look to Jesus Christ as the perfect lover of the soul. He is the one who laid down his very life so that we could be sharers in this union of perfect love with Himself and the Father.
Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I will lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice, and there will be one flock, one shepherd. This is why the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own. I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again. This command I have received from my Father.” (John 10:14-18.)
Meditate for a moment on this passage. He always knew – before they crucified Him – that He would lay His very life down for His own. He knows them, and they know Him. Do you know Him? Does your heart know Him?
The spiration, or breath, of this beautiful love is the Holy Spirit. It pours out upon us and transforms our broken selfish selves and turns us into children of the light. You know what I mean, His own. Isn’t that most beautiful? And we know Him by the Holy Spirit that dwells in us. This very being of God also comes to us physically in the Eucharist. It is the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in His Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, that he gives his own. He feeds us, just like the manna that the Israelites ate while they wandered in the desert, Jesus feeds His own the Holy Eucharist while we are exiled here on earth and waiting to be united with Him in eternal life in heaven.
Eucharistic adoration is a little house of love. It is the one place a soul can go to quietly contemplate the mystery of a perfect love – one that would withstand the horrors of torture and abuse – in perfect sacrifice. There is no greater love than this. A spotless victim, lays down His life, so that I may keep mine for all eternity and be with Him in the Kingdom to come.
The Living Flame of Love
A poem by Saint John of the Cross
Oh, living flame of love
That tenderly woundest my soul in its deepest centre,
Since thou art no longer oppressive, perfect me now if it be thy will,
Break the web of this sweet encounter.
Oh, sweet burn! Oh, delectable wound!
Oh, soft hand! Oh, delicate touch
That savours of eternal life and pays every debt!
In slaying, thou hast changed death into life.
Oh, lamps of fire,
In whose splendours the deep caverns of sense
Which were dark and blind with strange brightness
Give heat and light together to their Beloved!
How gently and lovingly thou awakenest in my bosom,
Where thou dwellest secretly and alone!
And in thy sweet breathing, full of blessing and glory,
How delicately thou inspirest my love!
Love of the World or Love of God?
"Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious life, is not from the Father but is from the world. Yet the world and its enticement are passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains forever."
Loving God comes at a price. The soul who desires to grow closer to Christ must lay down his own life to do so. You see, the world wants you to believe that love can be measured by what you receive and therefore you judge its value by how it benefits your well being. A love that causes pain is no good, the world tells you. A lover that betrays you must be discarded the world says.
Real love is an abasement. The one who loves with perfect charity will imitate Christ. This is what we call, “picking up your cross” and following Christ. When we lower ourselves for the sake of love we grow in the virtue of generosity, humility, and most of all in love. To conquer the enemy of your soul you must deny your selfish desires so that you can see what God sees and will what God wills for the souls He has put into your life. Imagine for a moment if all the people in your life identified themselves as His own. Imagine if they all willed your greater good. Imagine if in return your entire day was spent only doing what is best for others around you according to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit as given to you by God, your Beloved. This is the Kingdom of God. It is the essence of what we ask for when we pray the “Our Father” prayer as Jesus taught us in the Gospels.
"Our Father, Who art in heaven Hallowed be Thy Name; Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen."
Love Your Neighbor as Yourself
How do we know that we are loved by another soul? We know when they sacrifice for our sake and without expecting anything in return. This is what Jesus taught us and how he lived. Children of the light are infused with the Holy Spirit, given to them by God, the Beloved. You know them because they seek your betterment and many times they seem to know what you need without your asking. They may even be a stranger to you, sent by the Holy Spirit. This Paraclete, or helper to the soul, is part of the Holy Trinity. Why is God a Holy Trinity? This is because God is Love and He is the Beloved, and He is the Loving. And we are made in His image and likeness, so we too can partake of this divine union when we belong to Jesus and can be called His own.
Every soul on the planet can ask for the Holy Spirit. It is given through baptism. When we believe in Jesus Christ as the Son of God and promise to follow Him, we must change our lives in many ways. We must live according to His Word. God in His mercy is present to every soul and gives grace to souls who call upon Him, but this grace only comes through Jesus Christ.
Every soul has a deep desire to be connected with God and to know Him. Some souls are hardened by wounds and seemingly reject this love but it is not because they do not desire it. Souls that reject God and His love often do so because they lack both faith and hope. This is why we pray for them, for their conversion, and we console Christ over the state of their souls.
As Christians, Jesus offers us a beautiful gift through devotion to His Sacred Heart in adoration. He gives us the grace to know and love God and to act upon this perfect charity for the sake of another soul in need of love.
Love in itself has nothing at all to do with sexual attraction or desire for human companionship. Love is not something that ends. It does not fail because it cannot fail. Supernatural love is called charity. It is the highest virtue and is demanding on the soul. Couples with an abiding love possess that love through the Holy Spirit. We can only love because He first loved us.
Act of Love Prayer
O My God,
I love you above all things,
with my whole heart and soul,
because you are all-good and worthy of all love.
I love my neighbor as myself for the love of you.
I forgive all who have injured me,
and ask pardon of all whom I have injured.
Amen.
Saints Teach us about Real Love
“Let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.” – St. John the Apostle
“The law of divine love is the standard for all human actions” – St. Thomas Aquinas
“When one loves, one does not calculate.” – St. Thérèse of Lisieux
“We become what we love and who we love shapes what we become. If we love things, we become a thing. If we love nothing, we become nothing. Imitation is not a literal mimicking of Christ, rather it means becoming the image of the beloved, an image disclosed through transformation. This means we are to become vessels of God’s compassionate love for others.” – St. Clare of Assisi
Additional Prayers
You Humbled Yourself to be Crucified Because You Love Me
Jesus you humbled yourself. You returned to Jerusalem knowing you were giving yourself to be crucified. This, because you love me.
Jesus Be Near and Help me Know the Truth
Jesus be near to me. In your kindness hear me. Help me know the truth and be guided to obey your will. Give me the gifts of wisdom, humility, and obedience.
Hope in Healing through Faith in Jesus
Hope in healing comes through our faith in Jesus Christ. This meditative prayer asks for hope and trust in God to physically, mentally, and spiritually heal.
You will Preserve Me so I Entrust Myself to You
God, you will preserve me from my enemies so I entrust myself to you. My shield and my deliverer, teach me humility and self-abasement.
Lord, Give me a Humble Contrite Heart
Lord, let me see what you see, and hear what you hear. Take away my pride and give me a humble contrite heart.
Change My Greedy Heart to One of Pure Contentment
“Change My Greedy Heart to One of Pure Contentment” – join us for our 34th meditation on the 35 virtues of St. Hildegard of Bingen.