Jesus, please help me leave contentious people to you alone so I can always be at peace and trust in your divine providence. I humbly ask for the virtue of peace, especially in difficult moments with family members, friends, and acquaintances. In the past I allowed discord to cause bitter conflicts, and some contentious conversations have caused uncomfortable rifts that have lasted years.
I like defending the truth as I see it and pushing back against what I think is wrong. But I’m not always right and sometimes I lack charity and humility, getting upset with people I disagree with and letting my emotions get the best of me. I regret every senseless argument I’ve ever had with contentious people. I should consider the consequences before speaking and prayerfully seek to be at peace when I’m tempted. I’m deeply sorry for the times I have been inflamed by outrageous accusations. I understand these past behaviors were bad examples of Christian virtue and caused more harm than good.
Please forgive me for not leaving contentious people to you. I want my actions to speak louder than my words, and be at peace when someone provokes me. Jesus, please help me have the virtue of peace so that I don’t engage in bitter arguments and cause rifts with contentious people through my own sin and lack of charity.
Jesus, help me overcome my instinct to fight back and to attack the one who is trying to injure me. I fully repent for every time in my life that I instigated disunity and every time I retaliated with a hostile response. I should be a peacemaker. Please help me bring peace into contentious situations with my words and actions. Please give me the grace to be a peacemaker from this day forward. Help me maintain composure and the wisdom to know when to walk away and when to humbly respond as the Holy Spirit prompts me.
Jesus, only you see the hidden wounds, past injuries, and the underlying reasons some people have rage toward others. You know the reason for every angry outburst that comes from the mouths of contentious people. Only you know whether that soul will one day repent. I am sinning against you if my lack of peace causes them to stumble. When contentious people provoke me please help me quiet my mind and call upon the Holy Spirit. Jesus, please allow me to see them through the eyes of mercy. Guide my thoughts, words, and actions toward a peaceful disposition so I will be a good witness of your love for them, helping them desire a change of heart.
AMEN
Deliberate hatred is contrary to charity. Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm. "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven."
Respect for and development of human life require peace. Peace is not merely the absence of war, and it is not limited to maintaining a balance of powers between adversaries. Peace cannot be attained on earth without safeguarding the goods of persons, free communication among men, respect for the dignity of persons and peoples, and the assiduous practice of fraternity. Peace is "the tranquillity of order." Peace is the work of justice and the effect of charity.
Earthly peace is the image and fruit of the peace of Christ, the messianic "Prince of Peace." By the blood of his Cross, "in his own person he killed the hostility," he reconciled men with God and made his Church the sacrament of the unity of the human race and of its union with God. "He is our peace." He has declared: "Blessed are the peacemakers."
Leave the Contentious to be at Peace in Christ
The Snares of the Devil Among the Chosen
by St. Hildegard von Bingen
But you hear the ancient serpent say to himself that he will prepare the powers of his strength as a fortification and will fight his enemies with all his strength. This means that the devil brings forth the snares of his faults through the exultation of his pride when he deceives God’s chosen by harassing them. He does not allow them to have any peace and quiet. And he spits out of his mouth a froth of many impurities and blemishes upon the people. He inflames and mocks them because by vomiting the filth of his many evils from the jaws of his perversity he seduces people and brings heresies to them, causing some of them to worship idols and others of them to travel the most crooked of ways. And he says that he will make those who call themselves the sun through works of light be repulsive and benighted and horrible in darkness since he strives to make God’s chosen ones who shine in holy works be noxious and sordid in obscure actions. He makes the fame of the chosen stink in the presence of the living.
Scivias, Part One Paragraph 62
Week 12 of the Virtue Meditations Series
Leave Contentious People to Christ and to be at Peace
Reflection:
In the above passage, St. Hildegard shows us how the devil tempts us through our egos toward darkness and away from grace. This shows what happens when we lose our peace and allow contentious people to draw us away from our relationship with God. This may also be why, in some cases, when we pray for a resolution the Lord will separate us from our adversary for our spiritual good.
Humility is Necessary to Be at Peace
The root vice in contentious people is always pride. So a peacemaker must have humility in heated situations, as our egos will otherwise get in the way when we are put to the test. The virtue of peace can facilitate reconciliation between contentious people whereas pride will only fuel the flames of discord. Humility helps us recognize all adversaries as our brothers and sisters whom we should love.
The humble peacemaker rises above the accusations, insults, threats, and criticisms. He can pray the Lord’s Prayer with charity; and lovingly recognizes the contentious people in his life as children of God and his brothers and sisters who need prayer. Humility removes the desire to control situations, teach our enemies a lesson, or wish them harm because they injured us. It opens our eyes to our sins and failings in a given situation that led to an escalation.
What does it mean to be a Peacemaker?
The peacemaker receives the gift of peace from Christ but he also has to cultivate it in his relations with others. This is the beatitude. In Pope Benedict XVI’s 2013 World Peace Day message he said, “The peacemaker, according to Jesus’ beatitude, is the one who seeks the good of the other, the fullness of good in body and soul, today and tomorrow.” As Christians, we receive the peace that passes all understanding, the ultimate forgiveness, and we cultivate that mercy and extend it to those we encounter who seek to harm us in word and deed. This is how we imitate Christ.
Sometimes being at peace requires us to humble ourselves so that we can work out a difference, other times we may be called to leave contentious people to Christ and silently pray for their conversion. The Bible says, “A person gains honor by avoiding strife, while every fool starts a quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3). You will know God’s will when you pray about your situation. God will lead you toward the right path because he knows the hearts of all involved and the future to come.
The Key to Being a Peacemaker
The key to being a peacemaker and having the virtue of peace lies in our ability to see ourselves and our adversaries through God’s eyes. We must be separated from material needs, worldly attachments, the need to control outcomes, and the desire to be right. We must let go of all control and give the contentious people in our lives to Christ with complete faith in him. You are called to work for peace. Trust in God to lead you to a peaceful resolution in your situation. He knows best.
St. Hildegard of Bingen shows us what this looks like. She writes, “God is just, and alone in power and glory. I want to embrace Him always with pure and joyous face, and rejoice in all His judgments. And I do not want to change, but to remain always in one mind and praise God continually. Therefore neither the Devil nor envious Man could ever weaken me or degrade me to the insanity of deceit, or make me stop persevering in peace and concord” (Scivias, Book 3, Vision 10, Paragraph 75).
How do we Leave Contentious People to Christ?
We learn how to handle repeat altercations with contentious people by reading what the Apostle Paul wrote in Titus. He advises us Christians to devote ourselves to good works that benefit others. Then he says we must “avoid foolish arguments, genealogies, rivalries, and quarrels about the law, for they are useless and futile. After a first and second warning, break off contact with a heretic, realizing that such a person is perverted and sinful and stands self-condemned” (Titus 3:9-11).
Give Control of your Situation with Contentious People to God
Humility gives all control to God, who works in ways we cannot comprehend to bring about a greater good from every evil we encounter. Always pray for humility and peace when you are faced with a difficult situation and an ongoing relationship problem. Pray for the virtue of peace, and the desire to do God’s will. Sometimes the Lord leads people from disharmony to peace through reconciliation. Sometimes the Lord leads people to peace through a separation due to disordered desires and a lack of conversion of heart. This is what is meant by “leave contentious people to Christ and be at peace.”
You will know God’s will in your situation over time. Pray without ceasing and make sacrifices; try offering Masses, doing Holy Hours, offering rosaries, and fasting. We do this because true love is charity and charity moves us away from our false selves to our true identities in Christ. When we know our true identity we no longer live for our ego, but for the will of God; we begin to see our adversaries as children of God who are on a journey to find their true selves in Christ and need our prayerful intercession. A true peacemaker wills the spiritual good of his adversary and prays for God’s mercy on his soul, for ultimate conversion. This is the highest form of charity.
Sometimes contentious people are softened by our peacemaking efforts; our acts of humility and charity may even change their perspective. But sometimes contentious people double down and provoke us at a more heightened level. Only God knows the heart. When you are in a situation like this it is important that you leave the contentious to be at peace in Christ. We can never know the heart of a man nor whether he will one day have a conversion, so we must always seek peace over being understood in situations where resolution and reconciliation are not possible. There can be no reconciliation without repentance. This means God may be calling us to avoid contact with an aggressor who is not repentant and has not had a metanoia.
Is the Contentious Behavior Really Abuse?
God never wills for us to suffer abuse. It is a grave evil. Because man has free will and because some men are evil, abuse happens in this world. When we turn toward Christ he leads us into peace and away from abusive relationships with contentious people. Forgiveness is necessary for healing, but reconciliation is not always possible when the abuser is unrepentant and cannot stop the abusive behavior. As we read in the book of Psalms, “In their distress, they cried to the LORD, who brought them out of their peril; He hushed the storm to silence, the waves of the sea were stilled. They rejoiced that the sea grew calm, that God brought them to the harbor they longed for. Let them thank the LORD for his mercy, such wondrous deeds for the children of Adam” (Psalm 107:28-31.)
Going Further:
Take more time this week to meditate on being at peace by reading 1 Peter 2:19-25 while in adoration. Bring your journal and prayerfully read these words:
“For whenever anyone bears the pain of unjust suffering because of consciousness of God, that is a grace. But what credit is there if you are patient when beaten for doing wrong? But if you are patient when you suffer for doing what is good, this is a grace before God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When he was insulted, he returned no insult; when he suffered, he did not threaten; instead, he handed himself over to the one who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you had gone astray like sheep, but you have now returned to the shepherd and guardian of your souls.”
Listen to what Jesus is saying to you right now in your heart. Reflect on your past and your current situation. Pray for wisdom, courage, humility, and the virtue of peace so you will become a peacemaker who imitates Christ.
Let us Pray:
Now that we understand the virtue of peace, let’s begin with a prayer of petition for it.
Virtue of Peace
Prayer of Petition
Eternal Father, I am the work of your creation, made in your image and likeness but too weak to conquer the devil by my own power. I ask you for the grace to grow in virtue, surrendering all my thoughts, words, and deeds to you. Please help me resist the devil and all his tricks. Jesus says that whoever believes in him will do the works that he does and that whatever we ask in Jesus’ name he will do so that You may be glorified. Heavenly Father, you sent us your Son to show us what it means to have perfect virtue in life. Jesus is fully human and fully divine and has perfect virtue. Father, have mercy on me and please give me the grace I need to grow in the virtue of peace so that I might grow in holiness and imitate Christ in my thoughts, words, and deeds. AMEN.
Now let’s contemplate the Lord by listening to him speak to us in the Gospels. Slowly meditate on the following passage, reflecting on the virtue of peace. Take your time. Pause over a word or phrase that speaks to your heart. Reread the passage again, and then ask Jesus to show you how you can imitate him in leaving the contentious to be at peace through the Holy Spirit. Choose a word or phrase from this passage to write in your journal, and add your thoughts. Go back and prayerfully re-read it throughout the week.
Virtue of Peace
The Commissioning of the Twelve
from the Gospel of Matthew Chapter 10:5-23
Jesus sent out these twelve after instructing them thus:
“Do not go into pagan territory or enter a Samaritan town. Go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. As you go, make this proclamation: ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand. ’Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, drive out demons. Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give.
Do not take gold or silver or copper for your belts; no sack for the journey, or a second tunic, or sandals, or walking stick. The laborer deserves his keep. Whatever town or village you enter, look for a worthy person in it, and stay there until you leave.
As you enter a house, wish it peace. If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; if not, let your peace return to you. Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words—go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet. Amen, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.
Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves. But beware of people, for they will hand you over to courts and scourge you in their synagogues, and you will be led before governors and kings for my sake as a witness before them and the pagans. When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say. You will be given at that moment what you are to say. For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
Brother will hand over brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise up against parents and have them put to death. You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved. When they persecute you in one town, flee to another. Amen, I say to you, you will not finish the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.”
Let us Pray:
Jesus, keep me in your name. Protect me and guard me from the vice of contention. Do not let me be lost. Do not let me be be contentious toward those who disagree with me. Please let me be peaceful and know when to shake the dust off my feet and move on. Give me a pure heart, mind, and eyes that look to heaven daily. Help me obey your teachings. I want to be one with God in my heart, mind, and through my actions. Let me have humility so that I can be a peacemaker, always seeking to act according to your will. I want to work toward the reconciliation of people to God and then to each other so that God may be glorified through me.
I do not want to belong to this world. Consecrate me in the truth. Send me, Lord, into the world and help me be one with the Holy Trinity and one with my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Jesus, you are a gift to me. Thank you for being present to me. Give me the grace to be present to you and to grow in the virtue of peace. AMEN.
Virtue of Peace
A Prayer for an Increase in Virtue for Others
Lord Jesus Christ, you say that when two or more are gathered in your name, you are with us. Jesus, in your name I lift up every person who has joined this prayer challenge or will join it in the future. I ask you to give us all the grace we need to grow in virtue and holiness so that we may love and serve you in our lives and through the people we love and care for. Help us in our thoughts, our words, and our actions. Guide us all by your Holy Spirit and give us the strength to overcome every temptation from the evil one. We ask all this in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, AMEN.
Together as a group we will pray for each other and strive to make good resolutions and keep them. Remember, it’s your heart that God wants to capture. Your efforts are out of love for him and a desire to imitate him as best you can in holiness.
If you fail, do not quit trying. Be merciful to yourself and learn to love the process of striving to be more like Jesus every day. Keep your gaze on Jesus. When you confess your sins he forgives you, so be merciful to yourself. Being virtuous is a process. No one is perfect, so just start anew every time you fail.
How do I Practice Virtue?
You’ve learned about the 12th Virtue, and you’ve prayed for God to give you grace. Now what? Let’s take a look at the Catechism for some guidance on how we can make Week 12 a successful effort.
“A virtue is a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions. The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God. The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good. The moral virtues are acquired by human effort. They are the fruit and seed of morally good acts; they dispose all the powers of the human being for communion with divine love.”
Making Resolutions
Take a moment to reflect on the virtue of peace. What are the ways you can freely practice this virtue this week? Ask the Lord to give you opportunities, and when you feel the Holy Spirit prompting you, take action. Write down your resolutions for this coming week in your prayer journal. Remind yourself to complete these resolutions daily for this entire week, and as the Spirit prompts you, feel free to write about your experiences with this virtue throughout the week.
In My Thoughts:
Jesus, this week I promise to take time daily to conform my thoughts by… (make your intention).
In My Words:
Jesus, this week I promise to take time daily to conform my words by… (make your intention).
In My Actions:
Jesus, this week I promise to take time daily to conform my actions by… (make your intention).
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Week 13 Mental Prayer Meditation
Finding Happiness by Trusting in the Goodness of God
“Finding Happiness by Trusting in the Goodness of God” – Join us for our 13th meditation on the 35 virtues of St. Hildegard of Bingen.
One Response
God bless for your countless prayers of virtues. Some weeks am left behind in prayer of virtues.god bless you abundantly and your countless brother’s and sisters.