Reflection:

What is the virtue of modesty? St. Hildegard of Bingen describes jocularity as the vice that counters the virtue of modesty. I prayerfully contemplated this and asked the Lord to help guide me in this reflection. Most religious people in the modern world look at Scripture passages about modest dress and focus only on external appearances, but there is so much more to modesty than fashion. 

What is jocularity? 

We see it described in Ephesians 5:3-4: “Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is fitting among holy ones, no obscenity or silly or suggestive talk, which is out of place, but instead, thanksgiving.” 

There is such a thing as good humor, but when we use obscene language, sexual innuendos, or derogatory and racist comments our joke appeals to the lower faculties and it’s humor comes at someone else’s expense. The desire for attention to feed one’s ego often stems from a wound of insecurity and only God can heal such a wound.

What is Modesty?

The virtue of modesty is a disposition of the heart, and it is a virtue that we should pray for and desire whether we are male or female. It’s not just about women covering their bodies. Modesty is charitable in that it helps protect souls from the vice of lust that objectifies human bodies, but the virtue of modesty is much more.  It’s about overcoming one’s ego and pride. 

When we choose to speak, act, and dress inappropriately to impress others it’s a sin against charity. The lack of modesty is rooted in vanity, a form of self-pride. Modesty is rooted in humility, the queen of all virtues. Modesty is how you comport yourself around people in public situations; it has to do with having dignity for yourself and everyone you meet at all times. The virtue of modesty is a God-first mentality where you recognize Christ within your heart and this love makes you abstain from speech, dress, and behaviors that would not dignify yourself, those in your company, or Christ. 

A truly modest person is humble. He dresses in a way that honors his body and is not attention-seeking. A modest person does not engage in low-brow conversations or speech that objectifies others. He also does not desire praise or attention from others or special treatment due to his status and wealth. Such a soul has a heart for God and humbly acknowledges his body, talents, and status as gifts that should be used for God’s glory, and not for self promotion.

Why is Our Speech and Behavior Important?

If we look at the vice of jocularity we see it as a relaxed, anything-goes, light-hearted attitude about situations. We let our guard down. We pass inappropriate jokes, comments, and suggestions. We seek attention and we tempt others in ways that harm our dignity and theirs. Because we are doing it for “fun” it all seems harmless. 

But it’s not. 

Jocularity forms division and it leads us to other more serious sins because it normalizes the dehumanization of the people we joke about, or are trying to manipulate. Jocularity is used to convince others to let their guard down and give in to something when they otherwise would not. Jocular behavior causes us to diminish the dignity of another soul while diminishing our own in the process. 

Sometimes our words will lead to crossing boundaries, and when we are in the bad habit of regularly crossing boundaries, we begin to lose the trust of our family, friends, and co-workers. People get tired of the jokes and innuendos, the self-seeking behaviors that are not dignified, and how jocular people make them feel about themselves. 

Being Renewed in Christ through Virtue of Modesty

The virtue of modesty heals this vice and transforms us into a true imitator of Christ. In Scripture, Jesus showed dignity and true selfless charity toward people from all walks of life. Jesus modeled modesty through his perfect humility. 

Reflect on your own life and the ways you have lacked the virtue of modesty. Ask God to give you discernment. As you pray in silence listen to your conscience and allow the Lord to speak to your heart about how you should behave and dress, now.

Modesty is not just about how you dress. While it is prudent to dress in a way that doesn’t cause others to objectify your body, you could fully cover your body and still not be modest. If you have a hard heart full of conceit toward others, this is not a true picture of the virtue of modesty. If you lack charity then you lack true modesty. If you lack humility as well, then you lack modesty.

When we lack modesty it puts us in tempting situations where we could more easily fall into sin.  If you want to please God and be virtuous, pray from your heart and be confident that God will guide your conscience on how you should practice modesty in your life. Remember it’s about your heart and your intentions.   

“Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Let us Pray:

Now that we understand the virtue of modesty, let’s begin with a prayer of petition asking for it.